Monday, August 12, 2013
Unfamiliar Truths: Build Successful Family Legacy
This article is a contribution to the INNER PEACE PARENTING magazine August, 2013 edition produce out of Turin, Italy. The edition is a contribution of over sixty worldwide parenting professionals and The Global Presence Ambassadors of Parenting 2.0. Parenting 2.0 seeks to raise humanity collaboratively and consciously.
Start today and implement a “statement of identity and vision”, a social legacy for your family.
“Successful Family Legacy” is the comprehensive solution to the structural & social breakdown of society caused by the growing number of broken families.
As a father and important community leader, Eli chose to engage in passive parenting of his sons Hophni and Phinehas. The sons’ grave abuse of Eli’s position and legacy saw them repeatedly take advantage of the people he led. Eli refused to impose strong consequences upon his sons for their behavior. His only response appeared to be conversations which carried no weight or merit. The evidence was his son’s refusal to obey his words or correct their behaviors.
When a behavioral concern is brought before some parents regarding their children, they expect a mere conversation is sufficient as oppose to a more decisive and necessary approach. These parents choose the proverbial “look the other way” response. Eli’s behavior resulted in the lost lives of his sons, himself, and consequently his legacy or family lineage.
Passive parents produce a generation of tyrants and selfish adults. Overprotective parents produce a generation of socially and intellectually handicapped adults. There has to be a balance of authoritative engagement on the part of parents, and an embrace of submissive responsibility on the part of children.
Here’s an observation. When it is time to lose weight we seek out a personal trainer or a diet regimen. The necessity of that decision lies in the need for structure, on-going evaluation, and accountability through the process. We write a business plan at the beginning of a promising venture for the benefit of clarity regarding the structure and purpose we pursue. Do we have a similar vehicle for creating our successful family now, and ushering our legacy of social behavior to future generations?
My siblings and I vividly remember my father’s words in our moments disobedience or errors. Those words, especially to our mother who expected a stricter response, were “Let the children shoulder (handle) their problems.” He created an environment to teach personal responsibility and accountability amongst his children. Although memorable when dealt, his direct disciplinary actions were a last resort if we refused to correct our behaviors.
Today in my home the common phrase is “Bambolos behave …”, or “Bambolos don’t cheat or lie.” As early as three years old our children begin to repeat that phrase and take ownership of the fact that family responsibility and unity supersedes personal happiness. We are committed to conduct ourselves in a manner which honors the family. Such a conviction must be first consistently demonstrated by husband and wife, mother and father, or adult leadership.