Unfamiliar Truths: Build Successful Family Legacy

This article is a contribution to the INNER PEACE PARENTING magazine August, 2013 edition produce out of Turin, Italy. The edition is a contribution of over sixty worldwide parenting professionals and The Global Presence Ambassadors of Parenting 2.0. Parenting 2.0 seeks to raise humanity collaboratively and consciously.

Unfamiliar Truths

Build Successful Family Legacy

“Successful Family Legacy” is the comprehensive solution to the structural & social breakdown of society caused by the growing number of broken families.

As a father and important community leader, Eli chose to engage in passive parenting of his sons Hophni and Phinehas. The sons’ grave abuse of Eli’s position and legacy saw them repeatedly take advantage of the people he led. Eli refused to impose strong consequences upon his sons for their behavior. His only response appeared to be conversations which carried no weight or merit. The evidence was his son’s refusal to obey his words or correct their behaviors. 

When a behavioral concern is brought before some parents regarding their children, they expect a mere conversation is sufficient as oppose to a more decisive and necessary approach. These parents choose the proverbial “look the other way” response. Eli’s behavior resulted in the lost lives of his sons, himself, and consequently his legacy or family lineage.

Passive parents produce a generation of tyrants and selfish adults. Overprotective parents produce a generation of socially and intellectually handicapped adults. There has to be a balance of authoritative engagement on the part of parents, and an embrace of submissive responsibility on the part of children.

Here’s an observation. When it is time to lose weight we seek out a personal trainer or a diet regimen. The necessity of that decision lies in the need for structure, on-going evaluation, and accountability through the process. We write a business plan at the beginning of a promising venture for the benefit of clarity regarding the structure and purpose we pursue. Do we have a similar vehicle for creating our successful family now, and ushering our legacy of social behavior to future generations?

My siblings and I vividly remember my father’s words in our moments disobedience or errors. Those words, especially to our mother who expected a stricter response, were “Let the children shoulder (handle) their problems.” He created an environment to teach personal responsibility and accountability amongst his children. Although memorable when dealt, his direct disciplinary actions were a last resort if we refused to correct our behaviors.

Today in my home the common phrase is “Bambolos behave …”, or “Bambolos don’t cheat or lie.” As early as three years old our children begin to repeat that phrase and take ownership of the fact that family responsibility and unity supersedes personal happiness. We are committed to conduct ourselves in a manner which honors the family. Such a conviction must be first consistently demonstrated by husband and wife, mother and father, or adult leadership.

Start today and implement a “statement of identity and vision”, a social legacy for your family.

New Website With More Family Building Resources

The Firstborn Son, Inc. has unveiled a new and improved website targeting strategic growth with more family building resources. We exist to build strong families regardless of the aggressive anti-family challenges rumbling within the culture. Conveying the importance of successful family legacy in truth through stories, videos, statistical facts, speeches, and more will ensure lasting success is found and sustained for our families. Here is a unique taste.

Liberians and Africans in general are notorious for teaching their young ones through fables and wise tales. Interestingly, these stories are told with animal and insect characters such as spider, dog, monkey, and more. There is a tale to teach against greediness whose plot portrays the spider, which once had a normal size waist, today has a tiny waist because of his greed. He committed to two feasts, at different villages, at the same time. Unfortunately he encouraged each village to pull on ropes he tied around the waist when the feasts began. You can imagine what happened. Moral of the story is greed will cost you.

There is also a tale for teaching children to avoid deceit. In this plot the spider, generally noted for insincerity and cunning behavior, chooses the dog as his eating partner at a massive feast. Spider's plan was to eat most of the food the duo was given. Glancing at the dog, spider expected the dog's nose was actually his mouth and there was no way dog could eat at a rapid rate with such a small mouth. Spider chose to arrogantly leave for a potty break as the food was being served. He expected to return with barely any food eaten by dog and he would then devour everything rapidly. Upon his return all the food was gone. Flabbergasted, he asked dog "How did you do that?" It was at that moment dog opened his mouth and spider saw the true size of dog's mouth. Spider's deceitful plan cost him greatly when it backfired. That fable teaches kids to interact truthfully with their peers and others.

Until recent years, and in some traditional cases still, history and truth has always been passed down through families and tribes orally. Villages would have an oral historian also sometimes known as the "Town Crier". His responsibility was to transfer accurate history of a people's past which is critical to the construct of their present and future.

In the context of today's family, that strategically priceless  process of honoring our history, and subsequently constructing our present and future upon its truths is what we at The Firstborn Son, Inc term as "successful family legacy".

At your new and improved The Firstborn Son website you will find:

• A simple menu for navigating important pages (event, store, contact, etc.)
• A rolling banner of selfless virtues critical to building and leading a healthy family
• Featured Section: Entities we are serving soon (inspirational speaking, seminar, events, etc.)
• Top Projects: Activities you can join us to serve and build strong families & communities
• Client Section: Entities we have been honored to serve in the past

We look forward to growing with and serving you for many years to come. Please explore and enjoy your new and improved website.

Family Legacy Membership Community (2-Week Free Trial)

In need of family unity, we must find a common purpose. In search of family harmony, we must find similarity. In search of promising viability as a family (growth through succession), we must design and implement a legacy for others to follow. Succession planning not only drives performance and results…but also ensures that families avoid pitfalls or risks (self-centered, abusive, role-reversals, victimized by unexpected challenges, etc.) that can inhibit success. All must be emboldened for every member of the family by the critical exemplary living of its leaders.

Are you tired of hearing the "doom and gloom" discussions about the state of the family unit? Are you one of those persons who frequently stands idly by and points the finger at the situation rather than be a part of the solution? Have you been in search of a unique and proven approach to addressing what this "hoot & holler" is all about? Are you ready to promote healthy change in your own family challenges? We believe the proper understanding and execution on implementing a "successful family legacy" will address these cultural concerns and more. Take a 2-week "FREE TRIAL" of our membership community to see how we can affect incredible change together.

There are a lot of resources here you can adopt and implement personally, as well as share with others in need. Here you will find, including much more:

• Successful Family Legacy seminar audio & written content
• Monthly conference calls with expert guests (live & archived)
• Motivational speeches and presentations (audio & video)
• A place to share your thoughts & questions in the community discussion threads

There is much, much more to come as well. It is in moments when adversity strikes first and stares us in the face that heroes are discovered; they rise to the occasion. The challenges the institution of the family currently face require a sustainable and long term solution harbored in the implementation of successful family legacy. That is exactly the powerful impact many who are short-sighted and lost about the purpose and effectiveness of family desperately need.

Take the 2-Week Free Trial and see what we are about, and why we are elated to have you as a part of this special Family Legacy Membership Community.

Exodus International or Mount Sinai?

Written by Haedyn G. Bambolo (3rd grader - Fall, 2013)
A couple of minutes ago I was reading a story (God, a Grizzly, & Me by Nikki Kronberger) about my aunt's hunting adventure. A story about an incredible shot on a grizzly bear hunt. She has two kids and is my mom's best friend. She is an awesome aunt. Oh, and if you're wondering that she is my mom's sister, she isn't. She's a family friend. That's all for today from your local writer.
(Click here for article: God, a Grizzly, & Me)

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THESE MOMENTS!! We awake to our mornings with an agenda on our hearts, but when we seek the heart of the Lord in prayer and devotion "He shows us His agenda!" Noting the recent headline news on the "apology" of yet another prominent spiritual leader in Allen Chambers of Exodus International, my flesh screamed "Go after this!" However, it wasn't for the right reason. Instead an even stronger God-filled urging arose within, and with some divine external help.

Especially as a parent first and foremost, as well as mentors and other authority figures, :"What is your Mount Sinai Moment?" The day you realized that God has called you to personal account for delivering His word to your children. The day you realized that God does not live vicariously through a spiritual leader but has a direct, personal, fearful (reverent), yet favored connection with you. The day you realized that the fall of a spiritual leader should not discourage you. Their fall will never impact God's word in you if you have proper embrace & context of His truth. The day you realized the almighty power of God despite any situation.

Why are we so highly disappointed?
Why are we so highly disappointed or discouraged when we hear another prominent spiritual leader has strayed, or made a misguided statement? Is it because we are fearful of the impact it will have on God's work and His word? Or  is it something that reveals a negligence in our own lives, and consequently our children? I have evidence God's work has outlasted many prominent failures of men (Abraham, Moses, King David, John the Baptist, etc.) and it has never lost its power to transform the sinful heart. Therefore, my assessment is we are gravely bothered because there is an element of self-revelation about our own faults.

What is your Mount Sinai moment?
As spiritual leaders at any level, God's word points us back to the foundation of leadership in our home and family (1 Tim 3:1-5). It is amazing that while I sat pondering a message about Exodus International the Lord posed a gentle question to me. Ezechiel, are you aware of your Mount Sinai moment? Deuteronomy 4:10 specifies that God instructed Moses to bring the whole nation of Israel at Horeb, and He personally gave the law from Mount Sinai. The fire, smoke, lightning, thunder, sound of trumpets, voice of God were very shocking, terrifying and unforgettable for all present regardless of their maturity. It was so incredible and fearful that they begged no more should they have to endure that setting (Hebrews 12:19). God's authentic intention was and is this:
"That they may learn to fear Me all the days that they shall live upon the earth; to reverence Him the lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy; to fear to offend Him by breaking His laws, so holy, just, and good, and delivered in such an awful and solemn manner.

That they may teach their children; the words they had heard, teach them obedience to them, and to be careful not to act contrary to them; since that would bring down judgments upon them, and deprive them of the favour they enjoyed, of which they had seen instances."

As I sat concluding my bible study time, and pondering what to write about Exodus International, my daughter approached me with the story she had written above and affirmed God's agenda for my response. It dawned on me how powerful an unspoken impact we have on our children, and why the Lord points us as leaders to the foundation of the family. There are so many things she (daughter) desires because of moments such as reading a story about her aunt, or observing the relationship of her mother and aunt. My daughter desires to be a writer because she watches daddy frequently engaged in that activity. What activities and habits (of God's especially) are you engaged in that your children desire?

Who is an Exemplary Father? What Depicts Exemplary Fatherhood?

Once again father's day is here. As always, we desire to encourage fathers and families all over the world to live righteously for the incredible benefit of many generations to come. I am blessed to have a great father, not perfect, who taught me a lot of lessons as a powerful man. His power was not reflective of his physical strength alone (always enticing to a young lad or gal), but his fortitude in all situations even with life on the line in dangerous situations beyond his control. His stern images of courage against deadly opposition, humility in service to others, gentleness in baiting a fishing hook, esteem in the midst of dignitaries, and fearlessness to grab an escaping porcupine with his bare hands while we hunted (absolute truth) are all deeply engrave in my soul forever.

It is frequently said, and I applaud, “The world would not exist without mothers.” Praise God the Father for His omnipotence and omniscience because neither would the world exist without fathers. You see, I am of the opinion “While mothers give life through birth; Fathers breathe life into us by their purposeful presence.” A significant representation; God the Father breathe life into His creation (man).

                Genesis 2:7

Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.

But stop and take a look around (our homes, neighborhoods, & communities), the lack of fathers suffocates the family, community, the state, the nation, & our world.

• Childstats.gov states 25% of Caucasian homes, 40% of Hispanic, and upwards of 65% of African American homes are single parent homes.
• 96% of those single parent African American homes are fatherless homes
• 75% of teenage pregnancy, 65% of suicides, upwards of 60% of incarcerated individuals are from single parent homes.
• US Census Bureau Household demographics broken into five levels of annual income ($11K, 28.6K, 49.3K, 79K, 170K), 83% below poverty line (11K) are single parent homes. 80% of highest earners (170K) are married family homes. Do the simple math!!
• Think internationally, “Gospel for Asia”, child sex rings, human trafficking, etc. the biggest culprits/perpetrators are men, and many of the victims are from fatherless homes.

Journey with me for the next few minutes as we explore the word “FATHER”:

F – Faith  A father must establish a life of faith in God, firm and committed. Regardless of the how the secular world feels there are many great dads who do not know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, fathering without faith in God is a grave mistake.

1. Psalm 78:4-8 – Expresses a multi-generational blessing to be sustained because of a father's faith in God.
2. Romans 4:2-3, 13 – Portrays that our fatherhood is justified by faith (incredible chapter for man & father to read)

Too many fathers believe their accomplishments and human efforts justify and vindicate them as excellent fathers. Faith in God and the Lord Jesus Christ is the vehicle by which yours and my fatherhood is justified (Rom 4:23-24). It began with the father of righteousness long before you and me, and is proven for generational upkeep. Do not expect it to change for you and me!

A – Abide  We must learn to abide (dwell, remain, stay, nest, nestle, etc.) in the Lord as fathers so that our dependents (wives, children, etc.) may abide in us.  When we abide somewhere or in something, we plan and desire to stay within indefinitely. Only after we have learned and understood the reality of abiding in the Lord can we truly create a similar haven in which others can abide.

Let me steal from Oswald Chambers to make this point:

I must take time to realize what is the central point of power. Do I give one minute out of sixty to concentrate upon it? "If ye abide in Me" – continue to act and think and work from that centre – "ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." Am I abiding? Am I taking time to abide? What is the greatest factor of power in my life? Is it work, service, sacrifice for others, or trying to work for God? The thing that ought to exert the greatest power in my life is the Atonement of the Lord. It is not the thing we spend the most time on that molds us most; the greatest element is the thing that exerts most power. We must determine to be limited and concentrate our affinities.

"Whatsoever ye shall ask in My name, that will I do." The disciple who abides in Jesus is the will of God, and his apparently free choices are God’s fore-ordained decrees. Mysterious? Logically contradictory and absurd? Yes, but a glorious truth to a saint.

What am I getting at here, for men especially?

A man who abides understands the responsibility of being “Priest of his home”. Far too often we want to point our children to adore or idolize some famous athlete or historical figure, rather than the great men (their fathers) they see every day. The problem with that is education comes in the intimacy of life’s greatest lessons when we are most vulnerable. Our kids will never see those famous individuals in their most vulnerable moments, and as such that learning process is not authentic. However, they will frequently see us in our most vulnerable moments if we are authentic and seek righteous living. Abiding, in those vulnerable moments, provides the credibility we seek and need!

T – Teach  I was a freshmen in high school and really began to garner national notoriety for my basketball ability. In arrogance that summer I made a choice of fooling around with my academics. My academic capability was nothing short of the top two students of my class. My father taught me a stern lesson by refusing to allow me to play for large club teams who had noticed me and were craving such young and promising talent. They came and pleaded with him frequently to allow me to play, and so did I. He said "No"! He inspired me to approach my responsibilities with greater personal accountability by his firm stance.

Proverbs 2:1-6 portrays a father's advice to his son in search of discernment, knowledge, and wisdom from the Lord. Remember, teaching is a critical element of leadership!

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.”
― William Arthur Ward

H – Heritage (or Legacy)  With heritage and legacy come a bestowed responsibility! Fathers (and mothers), there will be a family legacy left by design or default. In seeking to define family legacy, it is a term that is seldom used by family building professionals of our era. Yet, it possesses incredible significance at so many different levels of our existence. I am amazed at the neglect we portray for this critical bedrock of our communities as a people. The purest depiction of the transfer of family legacy I can offer is nestled in the beginning of mankind as detailed in Genesis 1:26-28. God the Father transfers His legacy to us and He expects us to usher it forward to each generation. Here is a list of the attributes which are present in His request. They are creation, propagation, authority, cultivation, occupation, blessing, empowerment, instruction, & reproduction.

Throughout the ages the name of God the Father, or the effectiveness of His word has stood the test time unlike anything we can conjure up. His legacy or brand is a very recognizable one. What has been your contribution to its eternal value?

a) Disappointing Legacy & Tarnished Brand

b) Gratifying Legacy & Vibrant Brand

Romans 8:15-17 states we have a rich Pedigree to protect.

15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery[g]leading to fear again, but you have received [h]a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.

E – Exemplary  Exemplary fatherhood is immeasurably powerful even for disobedient generations, & ones unseen by you and I. King David provides us excellent evidence and example. 2 Chronicles 17:3-5 reveals for us King Jehoshaphat, the descendant of David, that the Lord blessed him because he followed in his forefather's footsteps. God even blessed generations who were blatantly disobedient after David simply because of his (David's) faithfulness as stated in 1 Kings 15:1-5. Are we exemplary enough that God would do the same for generations who follow yours and mine existence?

Take note of David as a FATHER men (and women). He had all these attributes in strong alignment:

a) He had absolute “faith” in God the Father

b) He knew how to “abide” in God the Father. Heck he even danced…

c) David the leader “taught” his dependents, mighty men, and nation to seek the heart of God the Father.

d) David transferred a powerful “heritage” and legacy of responsibility before God the Father to his dependents.

e) David lived and portrayed an “exemplary” life in God the Father before his dependents, and they caught the vision. They were blessed even when disobedient.

f) David understood the “role” he filled in the much, much greater lineage of God the Father.

R – Role  As fathers our role is to stand in the gap between the enemies of God the Father and our dependents (wife, children, etc), communities, state, nation, and world. How far are you willing to go, even to the point of shame, disgrace, or imprisonment, for the righteous protection of your dependents. Don't deceive yourself thinking it is yet to come because it is already happening. Our world and laws are at such a place right now where I have a seen a father (excellent home) jailed because of his desire to discipline a son who stole from another family. The father possessed a desire to deter a child who will no doubt end up as a prison statistic. Shocking; but true!

Luke 15:11-32 – The father in the story of the “The Prodigal Son” provides us some incredible fatherly characteristics to emulate. Allow me to present a couple of different perspectives to this parable.

A son’s (child’s) perspective

a) Vs. 11 – Allow our children to fail and learn through adversity, more likely in latter teenage years and early adulthood. This son needed to learn by experience what I am sure was said to him countless times audibly by his father.

b) Vs. 17 – A father of undoubted stability; the young son understood the security and dependability of his father

c) Vs. 18 – The young son trusted in his father’s desire and ability to forgive. He had Wealth (a father's trust and compassion), even when he burned all his material wealth!

d) Vs. 22 – A young son is remorseful of his foolish error and returns in “reckless” humility; “make me a slave”. Most of us would have returned not only expecting but demanding our “rightful” place at the dinner table.

A Father’s perspective

e) Vs. 20 – A father who is confident of the work he has done in his son expectantly awaits his return with bountiful compassion and joy (not happiness).

f) Vs. 23-24 – A father steep in forgiveness and excitement, despite the humiliation he may have earlier felt, loved on his son. He did not say a single time to his young son “I taught you better than this son!” or "I told you what would happen!"

g) Vs. 25-32 – A father grounded in heavenly wisdom.

        i. Pleads with, not scream at older son in arrogance

        ii. Honors and re-enforces the service and dedication of the older son, acknowledging his presence and joint ownership of all he possessed.

        iii. Solicits the partnership of the older brother in the restoration process of the younger son which has begun.

Live well, live righteous, be strong for the sake of many to come after you rather than for selfish reasons. For such is the nature and calling of our role as fathers. Amen!!

Justice League vs. Heavenly Justice?

I don't know about you, but as a teenage boy I lived for the world created by DC & Marvel Comics. I had to have my Superman, Batman, Flash, Green Lantern, Incredible Hulk, Ironman and the rest. The title question to this blogpost presents a bit of a conundrum emotionally. I am a man and father now so the "boyland" characteristics and childish wants are no longer prominent in my being. However, there is no doubt the impact on my masculinity by the many years I enjoyed reading those action comics.

My eight year old daughter, who is now an avid reader, I didn't realize until this morning while I was doing some research has already caught the comic book bug. Not knowing her dad was such a comic fan in his boyhood, and while looking over my shoulder as I worked on the computer, she exclaimed with joy, "Daddy I love comics, are you getting me some?" No wonder I didn't know she was a fan, she brought me a couple of her Ninjago graphic novels; yeah not nearly the visual fanfare and excitement of the DC & Marvel comic covers. I guess she reads a few others at school as well. I have no doubt by the time my son (now 4 years old) becomes a fluid reader he too no doubt will join the club. Here is the dilemma for you and I...

Our world and culture has become a gravely more dangerous place for the tactical and deliberate dissemination of anti-family messages. More and more the evil and sinful messages of robbery, sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, murderous massacres, and others (Grand Theft Auto, War of Warcraft, Call of Duty: World at War, TV's Modern Family, etc) have strolled into our homes and taken residence with our permission. Better yet our popular book dealers and book stores (Barnes & Noble, Amazon, etc.) where we confidently let our children roam provide bountiful options of erotic comics and graphic novels for them to explore and acquire freely. How can I safely introduce my children to a world of comics so richly enjoyed by me in my childhood?

As a blogger who is committed and prepared to valiantly stand in defense of healthy family, I want to take a moment to introduce you to Kingstone Comics. We recently conducted and interview with the company on our radio show Motivation with a Purpose. I am convinced you will find in them an incredible wealth for the world of comics and adventures allowing us to healthily transfer our love and passion to our children. Now if you were into Archie, Jughead, and the bunch...you're on your own!

Click here to listen to the Kingstone Comics Interview with our guest Art Ayris. There are some notable fellows of sound doctrine such as Randy Alcorn on board with their mission as well. You will like them as I am  quickly traveling a similar direction.

"Bold Faith", What Is It & Where Does It Come From?

As Christians, we have the greatest motivations possible to live our faith boldly, an empty tomb and a risen Lord. Yet at times, we seem to be the ones most timid and afraid to live our faith boldly. Sadly I believe  most Christians equate living their faith boldly with arrogance. As such they refuse or fail to do what matters most when it comes to "bold faith", living a life of power and conviction in Christ. The apostle Paul gives us a great example in scripture out of 2 Tim 4 as he speaks of fighting the good fight and awaiting the victor's crown.

Last Friday I was asked to speak at Bellevue Christian School on the topic of "bold faith". Not only did I choose to exemplify bold faith for all present, especially the teenagers, I felt it critical to emphasize what it means for their era and generation. I also provided hard evidence (credible & reputable cultural sources) allowing them to connect with my claims. Sadly the evidences hindering their abilities to live bold faith come both from the secular world and the church. Yes Christians, I said the church which is the body of Christ!

What do you suspect I told them? I'll give you a hint. The book of Acts and chapter seven (7) has a lot to do with it also. They got the message and are enthusiastic, would you?

Here is the video of my speech in two parts:

Zeke Bambolo - JH/HS Chapel - April 26th, 2013

Zeke Bambolo, Jr. - Q & A - April 26th, 2013