Does the Family Hear Media Speak?

Since the family is the most significant foundation and component of the culture, it is on the backs of families we must build a great nation and nothing else. Therefore, strong families will guarantee the prolonged and sustainable strength of America and rest of our world. Such has been the case for several centuries since the creation of this great nation. Godly influenced and strong families in search of freedom to worship, education, economic development, social interaction, political persuasion, and more agreed it was necessary to take risks of various kinds to form a new and great nation.

In the same breath and the description of the nobility of such great families who built the American dream, the tragic impetus for change under the weight and pressure of weak families is remarkably devastating. The quality and the value of life is sacrilegiously diminished. Even more amazing is the reality common sense solutions to problems become gravely complicated because a people have become complacent and notoriously lazy. Important issues of morality and objective truth in the decision making of the people soon become relegated to societal failures in the name of "progressive thinking". We refuse to call our flaws what they really are, and refuse to simply protect human life, our greatest earthly possession for fear of offending someone who is already figuratively dead, and soon to be physically dead anyway. In short, only the dead have no capability of protecting life or the living; they can't. When we refuse to protect human life in any form we are dead in every manner imaginable since it is fundamentally how we protect our existence.

With our media rich world, and subsequently the speed with which news travels, we have reached new levels  of this rampaging epidemic of death in society, especially one of massive moral and psychological proportions. As a people, we are quick to unquestionably believe our giant media syndicates and dumb down our senses which scream at us to do a litmus test of the message we are receiving. That complacency and laziness, a natural nature within us as weak members of weak families will rapidly assert itself and rule the day. That leaves us with no alternative but to succumb to media feeds as an electric cord does to the electricity being fed through an outlet, "a powerless conduit". Sadly what this depicts is this, as adults especially we are simply being used by the media in many cases to infect the next generation, our children.

So, does the family hear media speak? Sure, here's proof Media Coverage of Gun Violence. Look for a few thoughts I shared in this piece also.

What Is A Gang? Generally Children of Inhabiting Families

What is a gang or what are gangs? Gangs are generally made up of children and young adults of the general vicinity in which they operate. Yes a gang may seemingly move into an area and establish dominance. However, in order to flourish it must recruit young members from the families of that neighborhood and locale. Although on a somewhat grander scale, the same exist for a lawless indiscriminate rebel force (African civil war) whose operational vicinity I have lived within and felt the daily pressures of conscription and threats to my life as a teenage boy. What are gangs or rebel forces using to attract the youth of our communities? The missing promises in their young lives of:

• Excitement and attention
• Friendship, family, and belonging
• Protection
• Material success
• Popularity and notoriety (recognizable brand)
• Family Tradition
• Familial love

Sadly, the gangs' manner of exhibiting all of these wonderful attributes are laced with immeasurably addicting and destructive behaviors or results.

I was asked by a news reporter recently, the family expert that I am, to give my opinion on stopping gang activity and violence in a particular neighborhood. However, since my response was not one of the immediate and temporary fixes which never work but are frequently being applied across this nation, he seemed to be unable to connect with a long term but effective solution. Well let me emphasize it once more, "Quick fixes to gang infested communities will never work." More importantly, rather than exclude the inhabiting families while city councils come up with midnight basketball leagues, handball, and other attracting activities for gang involved youth, the family and elder connections to gang members must be included.

What is the solution?
In the case of civil war locations like Rwanda and Liberia, or the apartheid unrest in South Africa among others, a "truth and reconciliation" council is established. The purpose is to find the truth and give the victims and perpetrators a chance to say and reveal all that is inside them. The strategic key is that ownership of the situation is put back on the community and ultimately families to express, discuss, and reconcile their deep-rooted differences and concerns. But more importantly, they receive the gift of an amazing opportunity and second chance to solve a problem that they once failed miserably at addressing. Observe, the lasting solutions in these communities have not just involved mental reconditioning of perpetrators but have instead fully involved the families which make up the communities.

The same is the answer for gang violence in our communities. It must begin with the family, typically the families of the gang members we desire to reach so desperately. As such, resources have to be introduced that allow or motivate the families and community to choose to be greater involved in the solution. I am not speaking of handouts (welfare checks, etc). In many instances involving these communities there are long lasting and deep rooted family involvement and affiliations to the gang problem also. Yet we continue to be blind and ignore the fact that, like the rest of us the "so called" fortunate, these families are seeking a better life rather than "happily" see their children killed.

As an author and speaker on the subject of family, I work with families by offering/providing "multi-generational family legacy" seminars (uncommon language in US) that are intense and purposefully introduce long term family thinking. These seminars provide motivation, strategies, reasons, and more where families like these develop purpose for becoming a part of the solution, as well as finding the better lives they seek ultimately. We need to start the conversation with the parents and families of the community, as well as bring those gang members (leaders especially) who are willing to listen. Soon we will begin to cultivate a long term impact and solution for the community. GIVE THEM THE SOLUTIONS THEY SEEK, RATHER THAN FAILED POLICIES WE CHOOSE TO GIVE!

Gender Neutrality, Political Correctness Fog!

Politicians like those in Olympia, WA (WA gender neutral language) are so concern about acknowledging our differences in society as male and female that they have prioritize time to enforce gender-neutral language changes in the written laws of the state. Sadly, if I didn't live in this era and culture to see with my own eyes the daily dramatization of what I just wrote in my earlier sentence, but instead was reading the writings from several centuries past, I would be rolling in laughter at this kind of logic and approach. But in reality it is no laughing matter is it?

A fellow named Jonathan Katz once wrote, "Political correctness is the narrowing of the range of acceptable opinions to those held by a small group that enforces it. It is an attempt, often successful, to coerce the majority to accept the opinions of the enforcing group by suppressing any contrary opinion and making independent thought unacceptable. The enforcing group may be afraid of the the consequences of open discussion, or of making the facts known. It generally has a practical motivation: it wants something of value (money, jobs, special privileges) to which it has a weak claim. So it attempts to enforce its claim by ruling any disagreement from it outside the bounds of acceptable discourse. This is unnecessary when the claim is self-evidently strong, but may be the only means of getting the claim accepted when it is weak."

The truth is, I have had male and female bosses or superiors in the business and professional environment through out my life time. As an employee, I had no problem discerning or acknowledging that the chain of command, hierarchy, and structure which existed rose to that male or female. I do not need gender neutrality to emphasize that. A similar and more valuable arrangement exist in my home and marriage, and I acknowledge our differences and roles. Do you have a problem with discerning male and female differences that requires gender neutral clarity?

The trend has also become a state-by-state political correctness phenomenon it appears. Several states' law-makers have taken a liking to this preferred way of spending taxpayer dollars then focusing on measures to restore healthy family structure, and eliminate perpetuating cycles of generational abuse. It is amazing how as a society we continue to seek to fix the system rather than the people, yet we the people unnecessarily continue to suffer and die at our own hands. We must quit running away from our responsibilities owed to ourselves and descendants by making appeasing decisions to save and further our careers, and make the hard choices that are frequently and erroneously labeled "unloving". The gender neutrality discussion is another wasteful systemic discussion while real people hurt (litany of abuses), are murdered (school shootings, etc.), and more. The question of whether there was a fireman as oppose to firefighter, or policeman as oppose to police officer present, has no bearing on the lives that were likely just lost or derailed forever. However, the lack of balance and presence of a mother and father, or family advocating mentor/influence in the disturbed perpetrator's life 99% of the time means all the difference in the outcome of the situation.

Boundaries and other various tangible or abstract lines of distinction, as well as the existence of our natural and obvious differences as male and female are healthy and purposeful. I have a healthy respect for the differences (not wrong, or less significant) which exist between my wife and I. As a matter of fact, while we have acknowledge the strategic importance of our roles (leadership, submission, hierarchy, occupational abilities, physical talents, etc), we just as quickly embrace our equality to the tone of a healthy, loving, and fulfilling relationship and marriage. That fundamental equality which we honor and embrace exists in the essence of who we are, not our roles. So if this is what the fuss of gender neutrality under the fog of political correctness is all about (seeking equality), please lets talk and let me also introduce you to a few friends of mine who are just as fulfilled and are prepare to spread this healthy epidemic. And mind you that in achieving bliss, structure and healthy discipline despite our wants and damaging cultural persuasions must reign supreme. Truth is absolute not optional, especially if the facts are proven by the stats of life.

January Is National Mentor Month

I wrote the book (The Firstborn Son: a Curse, a Gift, or a Calling) because of my desire to mentor others coming after me. I have spent several years as a youth athletic coach and have been blessed with some wonderful friendships and relationships. The youth and adults have taught me some amazing lessons. My vow to them is that I will live a life that will not bring shame to them. Especially for the youth, I will live an exemplary life that will allow them to consistently have a source of mentoring. It is amazing to hear a young man say, ―I thank you for being the consistent male figure in my life even in the tough times.

How about you? Why are you a counselor, teacher, adviser, coach, trainer, or mentor to another life? In the same breath why have you as a scholar, trainee, student, novice, or an apprentice sought the advice of another? What if mentoring was actually designed more for the mentor instead of our common assumption that it benefits the apprentice most? It is no question that a mentor gives advice to one or many who follow his/her lead, techniques, theories, and more. Yes indeed, there is an aura of blessings to be transferred from the life of the most experience or predecessor to the successor. Yet, let’s not dismiss or misplace the power of monuments.

A statue, building, or other structure erected to commemorate a famous or notable person or event is a monument. The mentor’s ability to teach effectively always relies on monuments of events he/she has erected in their lifetime. These moments are commemorated either to remind us never to return to the pain of such a circumstance, or embolden us for the future mountainous obstacles we are yet to encounter. These are memorials which have taught incredible personal and/or professional lessons. It is critical to remember they are simply memories which have no power to define us, especially if painful memories, noting life’s rapid changes. The life of a mentor is empowered most by the legacy and exemplary life he/she must live daily despite past failures or accomplishments. The mentor must live in the eternal now in order to make the greatest impact.

Take note of the following conversation between a mentor and his apprentice (2 Kings 2:9-10):

⁹ When they had crossed over, Elijah said to Elisha, “Ask what I shall do for you before I am taken from you.” And Elisha said, “Please, let a double portion of your spirit be upon me.”¹⁰ He said, “You have asked a hard thing. Nevertheless, if you see me when I am taken from you, it shall be so for you; but if not, it shall not be so.”

Elijah refused to let his mentoring impact on Elisha rest on all of the great things he had watched him (Elijah) accomplish by God’s power in the past. It all rested on assurance he would receive from God in that moment.

If you like this post visit The Firstborn Son website to join our email list, find more resources, as well as see if we are speaking in your area soon. Kudos to organizations like @mentorNational, and Washington State Mentors.

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What September 11th, 2001 & Selfless Military Service Cost The Family

As we respectfully honor the 11th anniversary of September 11th, 2001, arguably the greatest attack and offense of war on American soil, our hearts unite in a special way today with families who are forever impacted by that event.  I am writing about families of civilian occupants of the airplanes used on that tragic day, the buildings (New York City & the Pentagon) attacked, selfless first-responder firemen, police officers, and other emergency personnel, as well as military lives lost in wars which have come about as a result.  We must spend some time in prayerful memory for those lives.  Far too often, and even including me as write at this moment, we fail to fully grasp the width and depth of that event's impact.

Freedom isn't free, as a matter of fact I believe it has the greatest price tag anything could possess, life.  No greater cost was paid for ultimate freedom than Jesus Christ giving His life away in death for you and me. This morning I had the chance to get out of bed on my own accord at about 5:00 AM, gather myself and what little wit I possess at such early hours, and choose to meet a group of about 30+ friends for and hour or so of intense basketball games.  Some of these friends are some young men in their teenage years whom I admire. The amazing contrast and reality check for me is at the age they are, and in my life in those late teenage years I was being awaken at about the same time of the early morning by the sounds of surface-to-surface missiles being launched at the direction of my home.  Unlike today, back then and some 20+ years ago I was forced to awaken into instant alertness or to determine whether there was a need to take cover from a bomb falling upon my head, as well as those of family members.  Many lives were lost because of the reality and existence of evil and sin in the heart of men, and for the cost of peace and relative freedom which currently exist in my home country today.

While our hearts unite with families affected by the losses of men and women that have come about as a result of September 11th, 2001 and the many tears and emotional struggles we have not seen or those we have, we must remember the reality that We Also Serve: A Family Goes to War.  We must recognize the impact of war on the American family and all others involved including the enemies, not merely by the death of a soldier, but the impact absence during deployment, the political discourse for and against war which ensues within families causing separations, and many more effects.  I got the chance to pick up my three year old son from pre-school today and we wrestled on the living room floor very affectionately until we fell asleep (him lying on my chest) together.  He told his mom a few moments later that sleeping on daddy was very comfortable.  Many will never get that opportunity as adults or children because they have been robbed of that opportunity by the evil causes of war and events such as September 11th, 2001.

We Also Serve: A Family Goes to War is a book written by Nanette Sagastume who was a guest on a recent episode of my BlogTalkRadio show, The Firstborn Son Show. Please take a moment and listen to the interview and enlighten yourself.

The Attitude and Approach To Prayer

In recent weeks I have struggled with a bit of disconnection spiritually with God the Father.  It is not that I am not frequently opening my bible, but instead there is a funny feeling because I lack the sense of a pull into deeper fellowship with Christ that one gets from a deeper, intense, and personally specific ongoing topical or book of the bible study.  Honestly, on multiple days of the week I am involved in various rich bible study times with the book of Daniel (men's discipleship group), facilitating a phenomenal biblical leadership series (www.transferablecrosstraining.org/leadership.aspx), facilitating an awesome marriage group (Love & Respect), and so forth.  But nothing beats direct, purposeful, intimate, consistent, and intense one-on-one time with God, hence my comment.

Then comes the National Day of Prayer, which I willingly prefer to embrace as the National Week (if not month) of Prayer, but who asked me for my opinion right?  All around the country on this day, Christians are gathering to petition God the father that He protects and guards the land, its leaders, and so many other aspects of our existence.  It is my personal and primary hope that we pursue this discussion first and foremost by each individual from the origination of self, to family, community, city, state...right on up to the president of this great nation, as well as the impacts beyond these borders.  But what is our attitude and approach to an effective prayer, and prayer life?  In my introspective time, the Lord took me to the book of Luke, chapter 18 (Luke 18).

I believe the Lord through the writings of Dr. Luke uses several parables and incidents to help us examine our manner of approach in prayer.  I do not intend to explain it all to you, instead I will hint at my impression and take-away from the passage.  However, I will strongly advise you to read the scripture and make note of what the living words of the bible speaks to your specific situation.  As I said earlier, mine was a place of a bit of a lack of intimate and intense personal connection.  What has yours been, or what is yours?

Approach & Attitude to Prayer in Luke 18:

1. Luke 18:1-8 - Persistence (Do you feel you've prayed for the same thing too long (years)?)
2. Luke 18:9-14 - Reject Arrogance, Approach in Humility
3. Luke 18: 15-17 - Assume a child-like trust in God (blind and innocent faith)
4. Luke 18: 18-26 - Let go of earthly possession or prayer; God will infuse heavenly treasures
5. Luke 18:28-30 - Understand & Know that God "PROMISES" better returns
6. Luke 18:31-34 - Be assured of His promises which is never dependent on your understanding
7. Luke 18:35-43 - Persistence re-emphasized; but be sure to give glory where due

I pray this blog gives you a greater insight, examination and authenticity to your prayer life than you have ever taken before.  More importantly, I pray the scriptures will empower us all to a more powerful utterance of prayer for our families, cultures, and nations.